I started throwing things. Small stones. A stray tennis ball. The window squeegee. The goal was not to hit them -- just a strong sidearm to smack the tree or fence beneath them, to add a threat of physical impact to what up until then had been but bluster.
But the ball went missing, the squeegee broke, and the stones were a bit too dangerous. I needed something else to throw, something aerodynamic and with a bit of heft, but not something that might break a fence board or take out a window. Something biodegradable.
There was the answer, sitting on the kitchen counter.
A bowl of walnuts that has been ignored entirely this festive season. My in-laws, it appears, are on a walnut-free diet, and failed to partake of these omega 3-rich treats.
This AM: I burst from the door and let loose a barrage of walnuts (much like Will Ferrell throwing snowballs in Elf). I was aiming right at the invaders, smacking branches and fence posts all around them. They are probably still running.
But even as the walnuts flew, in the heat of battle a voice was nagging. Is it wise to throw at your foes things they would happily receive as gifts? Won't this just give them another reason to come back? Don't you want those omega 3-rich treats?
Short-term, success. Long-term, bad idea. War is always about trade-offs.
Well we appreciate it.