Five-year-old daughter has a friend who got her fingernails painted, so of course now she wants hers painted. The idea does not appeal to me.
“We don’t have any nail polish,” I say.
“Here’s some,” she says triumphantly. Where did that come from?
“Well, I don’t know how. That’s a mommy skill, you'll have to wait till she gets home.” A coward’s way out, perhaps. But truly, my only experience with nail polish was dabbing it on the backsides of skinks in a mark-recapture study. And I wasn’t even very good at that. In the picture below I am measuring a Bermuda Rock Lizard. Notice on the palm of my hand the splotches of blue and purple nail polish. If I couldn’t hit the backside of a lizard without making a mess, what are the chances I could apply the stuff to tiny fingernails?
By the way, I was using digital calipers to measure the snout-vent length of the lizard. After a while I realized a clear plastic ruler was much easier to use, and provided the necessary precision. But you know the saying, “When your only tool is a set of digital calipers, everything that needs measuring looks like it should be measured with digital calipers.”
What next, a lower back tattoo?