Sunday, July 26, 2009

Weeding like Wendel.


The basketball went into the garden, deep, beneath the rhodos and back against the fence. I leaned in and reached as far as I could with the obvious tool, a hockey stick. Fighting back were ensnaring bindweed and the evil gout.

I had pulled these plants a thousand times before. Why had I never thought of this? I swung the Easton, in my head singing The Ballad of Wendel Clark. (Wait till it gets going.) Stems snapped, vines twanged, it was marvelous destruction.

Wendel was a man with a stick in his hands
he learned how to play in Kelvington S.A.S.K.
You`ll wish that you had died
when Wendel has your hide
`cause he does it the Canadian way

At one time I was feared for my slapshot, not for its power or accuracy, but for its unpredictability. Everybody duck! That fear was felt today, by weeds—bind and gout--routed, eventually, the Canadian way.

5 comments:

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom said...

Fantastic. Wonder if I can do that with one of Manly's golf clubs. Or is that grounds for divorce?

Karen said...

Evil weeds, they got what they deserved. OK, I think this is your most Canadian post yet. I have never heard that song, nor watched (or played) a hockey game, nor owned any hockey gear. So much changes when you head just 3 hrs. to the north... You say rhodos? We say rhodies!

randomtruth said...

"The Canadian Way?" Hmmmm. I dunno if I like that standard. As an American, does that mean I have to use a baseball bat, or an AK-47?

Since I'm a hockey fan, perhaps I can get special dispensation, and be allowed to practice one-timers on my weeds too? But if you don't mind, instead of Wendel, I think I'll channel my local man Joe Thornton! :)

Hugh said...

Aunt D: I think a 9-iron would be awesome. Blame it on the monkeys!

Karen: It's an obscure song by a group (The Rheostatics) that later rose to greatness while remaining relatively obscure. Rhodies? Well that is a difference. Good to know so one can blend.

RT: Baseball bats and AK-47s would produce dramatic results I'm sure, but something with a reaper-like blade works best. As for Joe, he for sure has the ice- and garden-cred, but someone has to write a song about him.

Marvin said...

I thought it was one of our presidents that once said, "Walk softly and carry a hockey stick."